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Tiffany wrote:

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Wrinkley,

Yes, again, much similarity. I felt about Lujan just as you described in your first encounter with his words.

Also, I had to make peace with my father too. He was hot tempered, would yell at me for the slightest thing. It was interesting to hear you talk about taking responsibility and apologizing for whatever your dad was upset about. It makes sense, that even if my dad yelled, there were times I was at fault, and what I didn't like was the yelling, but still I made a mistake and refused to take responsibility because he yelled, so my protest was to make him feel guilty for yelling rather than apologize.

I have come to see, when my father loses his cool, I feel his inner child being pressured by his father. I actually feel my father as a child at these moments. His desperation and the chaos within and his desire to resolve. This helps me deal with his anger, because I no longer perceive it directed at me the way I used to.

Your story about you father was great. My recommendation is to add an experience in your account that emphasizes the change before and after the Alaska trip. A transformation of you as a cloaked child towards you father to your return as the buoyant inner child who can embrace him with love and compassion that is the very thing he couldn't give you but he needed and so you are giving it to him.

"What I really learnt is that getting pissed off about someone being a dick, an idiot, or just plain ignorant is never going to positively impact my world. What Lujans work really showed me what how much unresolved shit people drag around with them. If you are sensitive to this you can see just how screwed up all the dumb, ignorant and rude people are. They all have unresolved pasts which lock them in place and it is our duty to be a mirror for them, to gently show them the way things REALLY are, not the way they THINK they are. If someone says something ignorant, or racist or sexist or gossips about so n so it is OUR duty to speak up and let them know that they are in the wrong. When you can do this you are standing in your truth. Since my tuition I have done this with many different people. In my younger years I would never have thought anyone would listen but now I see that when you are a patient unjudging mirror for people they will see their errors. No one will ever wake up if we project anger onto them, it just further reinforces their opinion of how shitty humanity is and how shittty the world is and that they should try to find material comfort because the world everyone wants has no chance of existing."

This is just great! I feel exactly the same way. I feel in every encounter to give the person a chance to "wake-up". I know what it is like to be asleep, I was there, and I do feel it is my task, like you said, to be a mirror for others. It gives me such joy anyway, to see others as being prisoners to something else, rather than my antagonists.

Yes, when I was in Bali, Lujan talked to me also about eye contact, and how it is showing respect to the other person and giving them your full attention. I love what you said about eye contact and would include this in your chapter as well.

The last two posts by you have such strength and are inspiring! I think we are both stalkers who dream, where as Lujan has said, he is a dreamer who stalks. Both types are good, its just a matter of one's predilection.