This is exactly what happened when I confronted Tiffany with something that I perceived in her behavior towards a family member who had written a letter to her loaded with agenda. I was convinced that there was something of a "filter of expectation" with Tiffany associated with how her family would respond if she responded clearly and directly with her truth....an expectation that they would behave in a certain negative manner.
I hadn't taken a reflective pause to expand my view and went ahead with the confrontation anyway. What happened almost immediately afterward was a similar series of omens, as you mention here Spectral, that clearly pointed to the same behavior that I was manifesting that I thought was clear in Tiffany. Shortly thereafter, I had to admit that the behavior was mine...the habit was mine.
Still is, in fact. HABITS! Sheesh...the wishful thinking is that they simply go away when we announce their presence! ;) Case in point...
In the situation where I was recently terminated from my position at the university hospital...same hospital, same department where my father works...dad was adamant about having a pow wow with the CEO of the whole hospital about the incident...even though I had let it all go and really didn't want him to apply leverage associated with using the power of his "name" to get different results. In spite of this, dad couldn't simply let the situation go...in spite of his respect for my choice of impassivity. He felt it important to voice his concern about the dismissive way the hospital let me go...felt it was not respectful and, in many ways, inhumane.
At one point, before the meeting, he asked me what I thought about the upcoming meeting. I replied that I thought the meeting would be a polite but offhand dismissal of dad's concerns. I was convinced that UAB was simply a giant corporate body within which the CEO was a subservient VIP. My view was colored of course by all kinds of expectations made up by the "haunting of history" that you so aptly describe above, Spectral. The oppression that I thought I was experiencing was not real. What actually happened was an utter surprise. Upon dad's report of the meeting, the CEO was actually verbally embarrassed about what had gone on in my dismissal. He acknowledged that, upon his investigation of my situation, that I was truly a valued employee and, even though they had to let me go because of a bureaucratic policy in place to protect their relationship to federal funding, the way I was released was inappropriate...and as soon as I settled the affair with the federal bureaucratic agency that I had an issue with...I would be rehired on the spot. He even sent me a letter offering his personal good reference for any job I might be looking for in the interim.
Spot on, Spectral!
"This is not a fixed conclusion, but as far as I can tell there is truthfully no interference from anyone in my life at the moment and so the responsibility lands squarely on me, even though it still would if there was interference happening."
This statement here....there is something very powerful in it...something that resonates with a very deep truth to me. I'm beginning to wonder about the notion of "interference"....to wonder if, really, there is any interference at all that is "out there"...and not simply a reflection, on one level or another, of being haunted by a history of imprintation, as you say.
Regardless....the lesson for me is, at the very least, to take a pause...and expand the scope of my view...looking deeply and openly and honestly....before focusing on something that seems to be coming at me from "out there"







